Women and Sexuality

Marriage for both religious and non-religious persons


Roman Catholic
If you are getting married in the Roman Catholic Church, you probably know that you will have extensive premarital requirements. First, there is Pre-Cana, which is the Roman Catholic Church's premarital course that every engaged couple must complete. Pre-Cana covers topics such as sex, finances, and children (within the context of Catholicism). Once you have completed Pre-Cana, you will then be given the option to go with an entire Catholic mass complete with the Liturgy of the Word and Eucharist, or a shorter version that includes readings, a short message on marriage, prayers, exchange of rings, and vows.

Protestant
Protestant marriages, regardless of denomination, do not require premarital counseling. Normally a short informational meeting with the pastor is required to gather information about you as a couple and to tell you about the typical procedures of your denomination. The Protestant ceremony includes prayers, readings, ring exchange, celebration of the Lord's supper (normally for the couple only), message about marriage, and the benediction.

Jewish
Judaism has different divisions that adhere to different rules. Jewish weddings within the Orthodox and Conservative branches have a few stipulations that require rigid adherence. Weddings cannot take place on the Sabbath or any time that is considered holy. Both Orthodox and Conservative ceremonies are recited in Hebrew or Aramaic only and neither branch will conduct interfaith ceremonies. Men must wear yarmulkes and the bride wears her wedding ring on her right hand. However, in most Jewish traditions, the elements of the actual wedding ceremony are as follows:



  • The Bedeken (veiling of the bride).
  • Signing of the Ketubah (Jewish marriage contract).
  • The Kiddushin (betrothal ceremony) which takes place under a chuppah (ornamental canopy).
  • Seven Blessings are recited.
  • Blessed wine is taken from a Kiddush cup.
  • Glass is smashed by the groom (to symbolize the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 A.D.) usually followed by congratulatory shouts of “Mazel Tov.”
  • Yichud — Bride and Groom retreat to a private room alone after the ceremony for about fifteen minutes.

  • Muslim
    The only requirement of a Muslim marriage is the signing of a marriage contract. The Nikah is the ceremony where the bride and the groom sign the marriage contract, which normally includes:



  • The couple's consent to marry.
  • The approval of the bride's guardian called a wali or wakeel.
  • The presence of two Muslim witnesses and a Meher (or Mehr), which is a monetary value of what the groom will give to the bride.
  • Depending on the Islamic sect you are associated with, all sorts of various cultural traditions and customs can be included in the actual ceremony. There are some Islamic sects where there is a separation of genders throughout the ceremony and reception. Blessings are normally included in the ceremony, which are recited from the Koran. An imam (religious leader) typically will oversee the ceremony but according to the Koran and Islamic traditions, any trusted Muslim may officiate the Nikah.

    Hindu
    There are traditional Hindu wedding traditions and specific Bengali wedding traditions. Since there are many wedding traditions for Indian and Hindu ceremonies, you and your fiancé will need to consult your families in order to make sure your ceremony reflects your family's traditions and heritage. The topic about the elements of Southeast Asian weddings is covered in Chapter 5. Hindu weddings are based on three essential values: happiness, harmony, and growth. Hindu ceremonies are normally performed by a Brahmin or a Purohit (priest).

    Nonreligious Ceremonies

    Some couples faced with tension and potential family problems due to interfaith ceremonies choose civil ceremonies. Other couples choose to go the nonreligious, civil ceremony route because they are not particularly religious people. Another common reason to have a nonreligious ceremony is simply to avoid expenses and time constraints of a traditional church or temple wedding. Civil ceremonies are usually easier to plan than a traditional religious ceremony.
    The officiant in a civil ceremony is a judge or other civic official legally able to perform a marriage. Where will you find your officiant? Contact your local city hall or courthouse in person, or online, to find specific information for your city. Each officiant will have his or her own specific fees, unless you get married at the courthouse.

    A civil ceremony does not mean that you cannot have the ceremony of your dreams. A civic official or nonreligious officiant can perform a marriage anywhere.



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    Degree in "BRA studies" at Hong Kong's Polytechnic University

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